Why I must be a Democrat

1) I've never declared war on anybody or anything.
In fact, let me go on the record by saying that if I were to ever declare war on anything, it would be a "war on wars". I would battle valiantly to eradicate warfare. Nothing would stand in my way, as I waged all out attack to destroy and suppress any person or institution which stood in favor of war. But I won't. Killing people is despicable. Declaring war on concepts is just plain silly.
2) I've actually helped people in a time of need.
Must have been my namby-pamby upbringing which has caused me to want to help people in distress. When I hear about whole communities wiped out by tsunamis or entire areas inundated by floods or poor people being starved because someone in charge feels the need to supress them, my first instinct is to want to help them. I guess, unfortunatly for me, my second instinct isn't to try and figure out how to profit from their misery. Sure, sometimes folks need to "pull themselves up by their bootstraps". But in my book, that philosophy assumes that people have footware to start with.
3) I've never worn my religion on my sleeve like a cheap badge to curry favor from someone.
My question to the truly religious folks: what have these people ever really done for you? Sure, they kept your issues in the spotlight, but have they really gotten anything done for you? Now, why not? They have had control of the Executive branch, the House of Representatives and the Senate for five years. They've even tilted the Judicial branch in your favor. Yet, you've got zilch. Why is this? Answer: They don't want to solve those issues...they need them for the next election, so they can trot them out and get you to vote for members of their party again.
4) I'm not in favor of torturing people.
I thought this was common sense. Maybe its somehow related to number 2 above and my namby-pamby upbringing. I guess if you don't like to help people, its just a small step and you can justify hurting people to get what you want. I find it interesting how how torture is justified by dehumanizing the object of the act. I guess its easier to torture animals than people. I thought that was a marker used by criminologist to help identify serial killers, but I could be wrong.
5) I believe in the sanctity of the United States Constitution.
I know its over two hundred years old. You can hardly read the original anymore because the years have not been kind to the ink and paper used. Maybe this is why some people don't believe in it any more. Say what you will about those guys back in the days of the American Revolution, but I find their wisdom still rings true. Plus I really like the way those guys used the language. People, even really smart ones, just don't talk with the grace and elegance used back then. Maybe that's why some people don't like the Constitution also; it makes their heads hurt trying to understand all those big words.
6) I've never exploited children or facilitated someone elses exploitation of children.
I don't have much to say about this...this just repugnant. Icck.

Peace out,
HBH