Pumkin Holler Panna

Little Things

2009-11-07T14:45:00.001-08:00

Sundown

2009-11-07T14:38:00.001-08:00

Obamicon's

2009-04-09T04:02:00.000-07:00

I really dig these things. They're a rip-off of that Obama poster done by Shepard Fairey.
Anyways, this site really gives you a quick way to flex your own artsy-fartsy side, even if you don't have any real talent (and I couldn't carve a log out of a fallen tree, so there!)
Anyways, check it out:
http://obamiconme.pastemagazine.com
Enjoy some of my own pieces of "art" before you go though!

Only the Guster Knows For Sure

2008-06-05T16:25:00.000-07:00

I'm a huge fan of "Psych" the USA network's comedy about a fake psychic and his sidekick that help the Santa Barbara police department solve crimes. I'm also a huge fan on Country music (well pretty much ALL music for that matter). The other day while watching Grand Ole Opry, I noticed something strange...James Roday (who plays Shawn Spencer on "Psych") was singing "Every Mile A Memory", a Dierks Bentley song. Then it hit me ... it was really quite obvious. Dierks Bentley is obviously a James Roday character and doesn't really exist; kind of like when Andy Kaufman dressed up and tried to pass himself off as an Italian lounge singer.
Okay...maybe they just look alike...someone once told me about how some fella Occam had a razor that was so sharp it would cut to the truth, but I wasn't real interested, because I get those skin bumps all over my face when I shave. Could be this was a good use for it.
You be the judge:
The real James Roday
http://www.usanetwork.com/series/psych/theshow/characterprofiles/shawn/gallery/james_char_01.jpg">http://www.usanetwork.com/series/psych/theshow/characterprofiles/shawn/gallery/james_char_01.jpg" border="0" alt="" />
His fake persona "Dierks Bentley"
http://cache.viewimages.com/xc/77769433.jpg?v=1&c=ViewImages&k=2&d=17A4AD9FDB9CF193A242DD909DF1BD4B0A493FF03D80271D284831B75F48EF45">http://cache.viewimages.com/xc/77769433.jpg?v=1&c=ViewImages&k=2&d=17A4AD9FDB9CF193A242DD909DF1BD4B0A493FF03D80271D284831B75F48EF45" border="0" alt="" />

2007-01-13T00:36:00.000-08:00

Effects of Drugs and Alcohol on Spider Webs

2007-01-05T21:41:00.000-08:00

Tiny Tim - Do Ya Think I'm Sexy?

This is why I love Youtube.
Who'd have thunk it. Tiny doing a Rod Stewart, well "classic" isn't quite the word I'm looking for, but you get the idea.
This is like two great tastes that taste great together...you've got peanut butter in my chocolate, no you've got ...
Now I know how Rudy Vallee would have sounded on the "Saturday Night Fever" soundtrack.
What the world really needs now, is a little Tiny Tim.
Miss ya, Tiny.
HBH

2007-01-04T20:26:00.000-08:00

Stealer's Wheel - Stuck In The Middle With You

I've had this song stuck in my head for the past few weeks...not sure why (haven't seen "Reservoir Dogs" in several years!)
Can't believe I found a video for it!
Man, this video has everything... sureal images, trampy 70's chick eating a eclair, fat guy slopping down spaghetti, Jesus on drums, and a bassist who must have shopped at the same place Bootsy Collins bought all his outfits from. It's only missing one thing... Gerry Rafferty. Guess he quit the band after recording this song, they got another guy to lip synch for the promo video, then he rejoined the band later.
Great song.
Enjoy! (even more so if you can find a trampy 70's looking chick to eat an eclair for you while you listen to it!),
HBH

2007-01-04T19:45:00.000-08:00

Gnarls Barkley - Crazy

I love this song and the video is (IMO) groundbreaking...kind of like how I felt when I saw "Sledgehammer" by Peter Gabriel. The living Rorschach backs the lyrics and actually adds to the song. Great song; reminds me of Al Greene and Otis Redding.

2007-01-04T19:36:00.000-08:00

Gone Daddy Gone - Gnarls Barkley

Watch this one for the video...Femmes groove is better, but this video makes me laugh my ass off. The flea dry humping the hair follicle is hilarious; as are his dying fantasies.

2007-01-03T12:01:00.000-08:00

Violent Femmes - Gone Daddy Gone

Hey kids, you may be grooving on the new Gnarls Barkley version of "Gone Daddy Gone", but here is where it all came from. For my money, the Femmes have a much better beatnik feel to their version. I like the Gnarls Barkley video better though. Those guys rock when it comes to innovative videos; just when it seemed like video was a dead art form.
Enjoy...HBH

2006-12-31T00:40:00.000-08:00

Public Enemy - Son of a Bush

2006-12-31T00:28:00.000-08:00

Rage Against The Machine - Testify

2006-12-31T00:10:00.000-08:00

Mojo Nixon - Burn Down the Malls

2006-12-31T00:04:00.000-08:00

The Dead Milkmen - Punk Rock Girl

2006-12-01T20:24:00.000-08:00

Sitting on the dock of the bay

One of the top 50 greatest songs of all time (IMO).
No video, but its all about the music anyways.
Teaching this to myself on guitar right now.

-HBH

2006-11-22T13:35:00.000-08:00

Show Me How To Live - Audioslave

Excellent song with very cool video adapted from great movie, Vanishing Point.
The movie is an American classic much like Easy Rider. See the original though ... as much as I like Viggo Mortensen, the original has a more transcendental quality to it.
Not quite sure what the video has to do with the song lyrics, but still seems to work for me.
PS - Probably the easiest song ever to play on the guitar.

Proceed

2006-11-10T22:17:00.000-08:00

A traveller of a path many have taken but fewer now journey.
At times, feared straying and having lost the way.
Other times pondered:
Where will this take me?
Is this even the right direction?
Realization followed:
The difficulty of the passage is but a posture of the mind.
The road feels good and solid.
The traveller presses onward.

-HBH

2006-11-08T18:37:00.000-08:00

The Beatles- Here comes the sun

One of my Beatle's favorites. Reminds me that in the darkest night or coldest winter, the light is just around the corner.
Enjoy,
HBH

No more political posts here ... honestly!

2006-11-07T13:57:00.000-08:00

Yes, even I am dishonest. Not in many ways, but in some. Forty-one, I think it is.
- Mark Twain in letter to Joe Twichell, 3/14/1905

Okay ... I said I would put no more political posts here on Pumkin Holler, and I won't. But for the life of me, I had to vent about voting today ... so what's an honest man to do.

Create a new blog! So, without further ado, I offer Orange and Black State, the political division of Pumkin Holler Panna.

Peace,
HBH

Cox Sux

2006-11-04T13:34:00.000-08:00

I'm tired of being angry, so this will be my last pseudo-political rant here on the Panna.
I play music. I listen to any music. I love music. One of my guilty pleasures for the last several years has been driving in my car and listening to an "oldies" (actually 80s music, but I'm getting old) station in the local area. That station is owned and operated by Cox Radio, Inc.
Last week, I got in my car, radio came on, and out came ... talk radio. I thought maybe someone was pranking me, and they had changed my stereo over to AM. Nope ... there it was, just where I'd left it ... on my favorite 80s station. And this wasn't just any old talk radio ('cause, surprise, surprise, I actually love NPR, which for the most part is a bunch of talking), but rightwing, caustic spewing, Rush Turdball-esque talk radio.
I don't fault Cox for undergoing a format change, it probably just made good business sense. For the life of me, I could never understand why they even had an 80s channel when they also operate a "70s, 80s, and 90s" channel just four tenths of a megahertz away.
Here is why Cox sucks though ... as many of you know, Ohio is one the most hotly contested politcal battlegrounds in the United States right now. And from the looks of things, we are going to be changing colors in a big way ... out with the old and in with the Blue. A lot of these Congressional seat races are going to be fairly close though ("Blackwell for Governor" might as well close their campaign office doors now though). With just two weeks remaining before the election, Cox changes the format of this station from playing the music of my nostalgia to neo-conservative windbag propaganda. For the love of Benji, I would rather listen to the Wayne Newton sing Judas Priest's Greatest Hits featuring the Mormon Tabernacle Choir on jawharp, before subjecting myself to ten minutes of a Michael Savage hate-filled, sophmoric rant about immigrants.
Cox, you suck because you pander to this bunch of losers, who pillage, plunder, rape and then convince communications companies like you to try and rationalize and justify their criminal behavior. At the very least, a prostitute can wake up in the morning and shower off the stench of her previous nights work ... you can't.
Now ... that being said, I hereby devote this site to the pursuit of artistic and hopefully (at least pseudo) intellectual pursuit.

Peace,
HBH

Puh-leazze...is that all you've got?!?

2006-11-01T22:06:00.000-08:00

Stop the presses ... John Kerry kinda sorta botches a joke and it results in a landslide victory for all Republicans on November 7th!
Come on Republican leadership...is that the only ammo you've got left? So Karl Rove's brilliant strategem, his "October Surprise", was to wait until a vocal Democrat leader blundered a few words, twist it all up, and slather it onto every Democratic candidate as if each and every one of them was collectively and personally responsible for that one man's words?
Please...your own beloved chimpanzee-in-chief did more to belittle and dismiss our service men and women's sacrificed lives by casually asserting that in the not so distant future, the entire Iraq debaucle would be little more than "a comma". What the hell is that even supposed to mean? It sounds a lot like "eh, no one will remember, no one will care."
But back to Mr. Kerry's joke...if you take the time to consider who he was speaking to (college students in Texas), and his comments just before his "you'll get stuck in Iraq" "punchline" ("President Bush used to live in the state of Texas, now he lives in the state of denial"), its pretty easy to see he was cracking on Bush himself and his own wasted opportunity for education.
But, Mr. Kerry being more intellectual, realized that words can be (and were deliberately) misconstrued and apologized (twice) to our soldiers, their families, and Americans in general for his joke gone astray.
Has Bush apologized for his "comma" remark? Nope. Not even a half-assed decent explanation for it. Best we get is his press secretary laughing it off and blaming it on the President's lack of command over the English language.
Republicans...you've had six years to accomplish something, unfettered by the ability of the opposition party to block your will. You even threatened to remove the one tool (filibuster) that the opposition in minority could use to stall your plans. And what do we as Americans have to show for your grand scheme? I'm not even sure left wing, hippy, pinko, liberal, big spendin', tax raisin', satan worshippin', terrorist lovin' Democrats could have burnt through a national surplus and created as large a national debt in forty years, as you guys did in six...and that was before you got us neck deep in an ego stroking, imperalistic adventure in Iraq which we didn't belong in in the first place and were lied to to get there.
If all you have left to convince us to vote for you again is "John Kerry doesn't care about our soldiers", then you're not even running on fumes...your tank is totally empty.

Urgent Message about Ohio Voter Registration

2006-10-18T23:19:00.000-07:00

Folks,
Recently, it has come to light that Kenneth Blackwell, Republican nominee for Governor of Ohio, Bush backer, and current Secretary of State, has recently (October 1st), purged voters from the newly created Ohio centralized voter registration database. Rumor has it though, that the purge may have only been run against those who did not vote "Republican" in the earlier primary election. Why would Blackwell do this? Well, he's currently running somewhere around 15% behind Ted Strickland in the polls for the Governor's race in Ohio. Many other Ohio Republicans are also running behind or are currently in very heated races. If only Republicans get to vote, then maybe only Republicans will be elected. This is a lot easier and safer to do than going around hacking voting machines in traditionally Democratic precincts. So, what can you do to check to see if you've been purged? You can check the central database on the Ohio Secretary of State website. I've already entered my information and found that I'm still registered (note: I am not registered as either Democrat or Republican; I did not vote in the primary election for that very reason). Here is the information straight from the Ohio Secretary of State's website:

Can I check my voter information online?
Yes. You may check your voter information at www.sos.state.oh.us. If you perform a Voter Information search and the information you registered is returned, then your voter registration form has been processed by your county board of elections. If your information is not returned in the search, you may want to contact your county board of elections to check on the status of your registration. You may also be able to check through your county board of elections’ Web site, although not all county boards have a link to the registration files.

Here is a direct link to the "voter information" link:

Ohio Secretary of State Voter Information Search Page

If you don't see any information returned about your voting history, you have been purged. Follow the directions on the website to have your voter registration information updated immediately. It is not too late. You need to do this very quickly though, as fixing this problem on election day will be very difficult and the lines will likely be very long at your county Board of Elections office. If you don't have this problem fixed, you may cast a "provisional ballot". If you do, you must provide valid proof of identification to your board of elections within ten (10) days in order for your vote to be counted.

As you may or may not know, if you are a voter in Ohio, you will be required to provide some form of identification for the first time in the upcoming November election. This may also cause headaches. This tactic will likely be used to target students who are legal residents of Ohio, but who have moved here from out of state. It could however be used to target anyone. Rumor has it that having as much as one number in your address differing from your voter registration information to your ID could be a problem. Bring several forms of ID with you to vote just in case (otherwise you will be relegated to returning for more ID or using the provisional ballot). Here is the officially accepted forms of ID, again from the Secretary of States website:

Acceptable forms of I.D. are:
Bank statements,
Utility bills,
Paychecks and
Any government-issued document showing your current address.
You may also use your Ohio driver's license or Ohio photo I.D. -- even if it shows a previous address.

Just beware of that "even if it shows a previous address" jargon...be sure to bring additional ID if you are in this situation!

Lastly I noticed this tidbit:

Voter Information Searches - Routine Maintenance
Please note: The Polling Place Look-up and the Voter Information Look-up will be undergoing maintenance on Friday, October 20 from 6 p.m. until 9 p.m. At this time both of these look-up features will not be available. We apologize for any inconvenience.

I have worked for many, many years in IT (information technology) and I can assure you that any system that cost nearly six million dollars to implement probably has decent backup software and and an otherwise robust database system. Why would this matter? Because during "routine maintenance" (including backups), databases still allow information look-ups. However running something like a massive query or data purge operation would be better performed with the database "offline". So...you might just want to check your info on this site again on October 21st.
If anyone has any further information about the "routine maintenance", I would be most interested.

-HBH

Haiku #1

2006-10-14T23:06:00.000-07:00

In the fallow mind
grow the seeds of bigotry
fed by "us" and "them".

Bush For President...Sam that is!

2006-10-07T12:11:00.000-07:00

We had the immense pleasure to see Sam and his band perform live in August in Tennessee.
I'm a hack fiddle and mandolin player myself, so seeing Sam perform was like getting a glimpse of enlightenment.
Then to top it off, we got to talk to Sam quite a bit after the show. I wanted to get a copy of his new CD "Laps in Seven", but unfortunatley, Sam said they had only brought like 1500 with them and had just ran out. Sam and his wife apologized profusely and we talked for quite a while. The apology was unnecessary to me though. I'm just happy that they sold all that they brought. I bought another of Sam's CDs and he signed it instead. I've got to say, Sam and his wife were two of the nicest people I've met in quite a while. I recently bought "Laps in Seven" from his website: Sam Bush Web Page
If you're curious about the title of the album, one day Sam noticed his dog Ozzie drinking from his water bowl in 7/4 time. Sam made up a riff to play along, and pretty soon it was a song and the title for the album.
Anyways, thanks Bald Green Guy, for putting me onto Sam!
Here is Sam and Emmylou Harris doing "The River's Gonna Run",the first track from "Laps in Seven". For all you musicians, Sam is playing a 1938 National resonator mandolin (like a dobro guitar, only its a mandolin) in the video:

Why I must be a Democrat

2006-10-02T06:51:00.000-07:00

1) I've never declared war on anybody or anything.
In fact, let me go on the record by saying that if I were to ever declare war on anything, it would be a "war on wars". I would battle valiantly to eradicate warfare. Nothing would stand in my way, as I waged all out attack to destroy and suppress any person or institution which stood in favor of war. But I won't. Killing people is despicable. Declaring war on concepts is just plain silly.
2) I've actually helped people in a time of need.
Must have been my namby-pamby upbringing which has caused me to want to help people in distress. When I hear about whole communities wiped out by tsunamis or entire areas inundated by floods or poor people being starved because someone in charge feels the need to supress them, my first instinct is to want to help them. I guess, unfortunatly for me, my second instinct isn't to try and figure out how to profit from their misery. Sure, sometimes folks need to "pull themselves up by their bootstraps". But in my book, that philosophy assumes that people have footware to start with.
3) I've never worn my religion on my sleeve like a cheap badge to curry favor from someone.
My question to the truly religious folks: what have these people ever really done for you? Sure, they kept your issues in the spotlight, but have they really gotten anything done for you? Now, why not? They have had control of the Executive branch, the House of Representatives and the Senate for five years. They've even tilted the Judicial branch in your favor. Yet, you've got zilch. Why is this? Answer: They don't want to solve those issues...they need them for the next election, so they can trot them out and get you to vote for members of their party again.
4) I'm not in favor of torturing people.
I thought this was common sense. Maybe its somehow related to number 2 above and my namby-pamby upbringing. I guess if you don't like to help people, its just a small step and you can justify hurting people to get what you want. I find it interesting how how torture is justified by dehumanizing the object of the act. I guess its easier to torture animals than people. I thought that was a marker used by criminologist to help identify serial killers, but I could be wrong.
5) I believe in the sanctity of the United States Constitution.
I know its over two hundred years old. You can hardly read the original anymore because the years have not been kind to the ink and paper used. Maybe this is why some people don't believe in it any more. Say what you will about those guys back in the days of the American Revolution, but I find their wisdom still rings true. Plus I really like the way those guys used the language. People, even really smart ones, just don't talk with the grace and elegance used back then. Maybe that's why some people don't like the Constitution also; it makes their heads hurt trying to understand all those big words.
6) I've never exploited children or facilitated someone elses exploitation of children.
I don't have much to say about this...this just repugnant. Icck.

Peace out,
HBH

Gimme, Gimme Shelter

2006-06-15T20:00:00.000-07:00

Building our new shed is currently consuming most of my free time (mainly my blogging time).
It's going to kind of look like the one here (one can hope). The floor took the longest time to build as our yard drops off about 18 inches on one corner and about 10 on another corner where the shed is going to be (which believe it or not is about the best place we can put it in our immediate back yard). The floor ended up being a very sturdy structure (way overkill for what we'll be putting into the shed). I thought about using it for a backyard dance floor, but I remembered that I'd already bought the shed kit, plus I really can't dance.
But, the floor is finished and the kit arrived last Sunday. Took two forklifts about 10 minutes to get it in the truck. Took three of us about 45 minutes to get it out of the truck. It started raining, so we were motivated.
The kit I ordered is very good so far. The instructions are excellent and everything is pre-cut (amazingly, to very good spec). So far, I have the wall with the door finished, and the frame for the back wall finished. Unlike the shed in the picture, ours will have the door on the gable side and we will only have two windows and no dormers.
Why am I building this shed? Because our "secure" storage unit was robbed twice within one month. Turns out the security cameras weren't even aimed at the units themselves. I personally feel that it was an inside job, as the people who robbed the units knew exactly where the cameras were and precisely which units they wanted to rob. I wish we didn't need the storage, but we rehab houses and have way more tools, parts and pieces to keep in the garage.
So, I'll soon be able to reclaim the garage for what its intended for...rebuilding old cars, but that's a post for another time.

Peace out,
HBH

Classical Gas

2006-06-10T20:22:00.000-07:00

Of all the questions that man has pondered over the last four centuries or so, I would like to add the following: Why are farts so funny?

Top Albums from People or Bands you've probably never heard of, but should

2006-06-04T21:16:00.000-07:00

Inspired by my friend Zeteticus's list of his top 10 Albums of all time.
This is more for my edification than anything else, because I love music.
I'm hoping to see some posts that will lead me to new music.
Here are some of my picks (not necessarily in order):

1) Bad Livers - "Delusions of Banjer"
2) Golden Delicious - "Live at the Thirstlaurel"
3) Corey Harris - "Mississippi to Mali"
4) Dead Can Dance - "Toward the Within"
5) Danny Barnes - "Dirt on the Angel"
6) Beatallica - "A Garage Dayz Night" - can't purchase; download at www.beatallica.org
7) Ben Harper - "Diamonds on the Inside"
8) Black Keys - "Thickfreakness"
9) Mountain Heart - "Mountain Heart"
10) Flogging Molly - "Drunken Lullabies"

Sorry if I'm a little heavy on the bluegrass/americana, but that's what I've been listening to a lot lately.
Now, its your turn ... turn me on to some new stuff

-HBH

Telephone line, give me some time, I'm living in twilight

2006-05-27T13:03:00.000-07:00

Why I hate the telephone.
I hate the telephone because people who should know better drop whatever they are doing to answer it. I'm not talking about when you're sitting on the sofa watching Wheel of Fortune reruns and the phone rings to tell you your great aunt Millie just kicked the bucket. If your not really doing something else, sure by all means pick that baby up and get the 411.
What I'm really talking about is customer service situations. Wait, wait...don't stop reading yet. I'm not going to bore you with another sad tale of lame telephone support from Dell (sorry Dell, don't mean to single you out, but I do hear a lot of bad ones about you).
This is more about customer service inside stores and restaurants.
I've had this happen to me twice within less than twenty four hours: I walk into the restaurant, wait my turn, begin to give my order, the phone rings and the cashier interrupts me to answer the phone and proceeds to engage the other party in an entire conversation. Guess what...both times the cashier forgot what they were doing with me and I had to start completely over.
The first instance was the most egregious. I started to give my order but was interrupted before I could open my mouth. Nearly acceptable, except this is a little like someone cutting in front of you at the water fountain in elementary school. You know how mad that made you then. After about a three minute wait, I proceed and get half way through my order and the phone rings again. About three minutes later, the cashiers back (after placing the phone orders ahead of mine), but she's forgotten everything about my transaction. Now she forces me to play Mad Libs with my order ("You want a adjective name of potable fluid to drink?")
This time I get satisfaction though, as I say "I guess we've had time to think about it and decided not to eat here." And with that we left.
The second time was just a few hours ago. Once again, I'm inflicted with orderus interruptus by someone apparently lost and searching for the restaurant. And, again, the cashier suffers amnesia about what she was doing two seconds before the phone rang. I should have walked out that time also, but I'm trying to be a more patient and understanding person in general.
Now, don't get me wrong with this...this is not the fault of the person on the other end trying to get help themselves. I've been from one side of this country to the other and most people respect societal "rules" when they are aware of them. This is a customer service breakdown.
Restaurant owners and managers, take note: It is stupid to put a phone with your main line from the outside beside the cash register, unless your going to train your employees in proper customer relations etiquette. And what would that be? Simple..."XXX Restaurant, hold please". Finish waiting on the people with cash standing right in front of you...then take the call.

Peace out (even to Ma Bell),
HBH

Uncomfortably Numb

2006-05-20T22:13:00.000-07:00

It is frustrating and embarrasing living in the United States of America and having to read about events like this in the foreign press:
Marines 'to face charges over the Haditha massacre'
If you don't want to click the link here's the gist of it: One marine was killed in November in Haditha, apparently as retribution, a bunch of others went and killed a bunch of civilians (around twenty four) including women and children. Then the marines tried to cover it up under the auspices of a "bus explosion" and a "firefight". There was no bus explosion and apparently some of the dead civilians were either in bed or praying when they were shot.
I'm just kind of numbed by reading about this.
I can remember a time when newspapers and news agencies wanted to scoop the competition, sometimes breaking stories before all the details were known, sometimes even getting material information wrong. The point is they wanted to report the news. They took pride in informing the public. Now they have become a laughable shill for corporate looters who have bought the best politicians they could for the money and damn well expect a decent return on investment.
Now that this political train is derailing, how much longer will we have to rely on foreign news sources to monitor our own government? I'm reminded of the situation with the news agency Pravda (russian for "truth") in the Soviet Union. What couldn't be sugar-coated was swept under the rug. Sound familiar?
Will this become the galvanizing event that My Lai was in Vietnam?

What experience and history teach is this -- that people and governments never have learned anything from history, or acted on principles.
-- Hegel

Peace out...because, folks, that's the only chance any of us has
-HBH

See You on the Other Sunny Side of the Mountain

2006-05-19T19:39:00.000-07:00

Wow! You can find just about anything on eBay...check out this long lost Osbourne Brothers reunion album I just picked for on $37.80 plus shipping (must have been one of those expensive import albums or something):

Hardy har har. Bet I had a few of you there for a minute!

Peace out,
HBH

Pleased to meet you, hope you guess my name

2006-05-18T21:56:00.000-07:00

This guy looks kind of familiar... where exactly did you say he worked before you picked him to head the CIA, Mr. President?

General Michael Hayden

Oh yeah, sir! I remember him from that crazy puppet show in the 80's also!

a.ka. Dr. Bunsen Honeydew

Yo Ho Yo Ho, A Pirate's Life For Me

2006-05-18T21:33:00.000-07:00

Some days, I wish I had chosen "pirate" as a career choice.
Not some namby pamby Johnny Depp-esque kind, but a badass, eye-gouging, grog-swilling, pillage, plunder, and rape kind of pirate. The hours probably sucked. Your medical coverage was pretty much limited to amputation or eye-patch and you didn't get any dental, but the pay probably wasn't too bad. Plus, you could pretty much wear whatever you wanted to work.
I guess nuclear power, long range radar, and cruise missiles have kind of put the kabosh on that career field though. Too bad. Some days, hacking at someone with a cutlass sure sounds more appealing than reading email.

Arrrr, Matey...Peace out
-HBH

Give Peace A Chance

2006-05-18T21:11:00.000-07:00

I've noticed something very curious recently. My dreams seem to be reflecting my inner anxiety which I all but erased from my waking conciousness.
It's really kind of bizarre. I know I should be worried about something, but within the last couple of years I have, in all seriousness, been able to put it aside and "stay in the moment". But over the last week or so, I've had these dreams which are all so obviously reflecting the anxiety that for the most part, I've been able to deflect while awake.
I've considered the possiblity that I've just been deluding myself, but other people know how I am. I took damage from my old boss because I just never got worked up about anything. I asked him though, did he think he could count on me in a pinch, and he said "yes, probably more than anyone else", because I never lost it and could stay cool under fire.
But now with these haunting dreams, I'm not so sure that the water is rolling off my back like I thought it was.
Up until now, being a neo-hippy was all pretty easy for me...maybe this is a test of character?

Peace out,
-HBH

The Grand Illusion

2006-05-10T19:15:00.000-07:00

I know some of you guys like your philosophy like day old french bread: old, hard and crusty.
I've studied a few of those fellows also. I like to dabble out of the mainstream occasionally though. I particularly like those who occasionally rhyme their words and/or set them to music. The philosopher featured today is Dennis DeYoung, formerly of the band Styx.
In case you've never heard the song below, it happens to have a really cool synth part which adds a particularly carnival like atmosphere to the song. The meaning is pretty obvious from the lyrics. I find that reading the words without the distraction of the music can lead me to a whole new level of appreciation for a well written song.

The Grand Illusion

Welcome to the grand illusion
Come on in and see what’s happening
Pay the price, get your tickets for the show
The stage is set, the band starts playing
Suddenly your heart is pounding
Wishing secretly you were a star.

But don’t be fooled by the radio
The tv or the magazines
They show you photographs of how your life should be
But they’re just someone else’s fantasy
So if you think your life is complete confusion
Because you never win the game
Just remember that it’s a grand illusion
And deep inside we’re all the same.
We’re all the same...

So if you think your life is complete confusion
Because your neighbors got it made
Just remember that it’s a grand illusion
And deep inside we’re all the same.
We’re all the same...

America spells competition, join us in our blind ambition
Get yourself a brand new motor car
Someday soon we’ll stop to ponder what on earth’s this spell we’re under
We made the grade and still we wonder who the hell we are

Dennis DeYoung

Confessions of a Nerd

2006-05-09T20:45:00.000-07:00

My network broke today. Actually, it didn't really break. I broke it. It was a good network. Five drops of 100 mbps in one room, four drops of 100 mbps in another, with 802.11b (11 mbps wireless) connection.
I was rather proud of the wireless link. It didn't have quite enough "ummph" to connect computers in the upstairs, so I made my own parabolic booster antenna out of some cardboard, tinfoil, and scotch tape. That worked pretty good. Except for online games. Every so often if you shifted yourself around just the right way on the upstairs computer...the network would drop out. Not a big deal if you're web browsing, but it really put a pinch on Java-based games. I farted around adjusting the wireless antenna on the computer upstairs. For quite a while it was tolerable...to me anyways...mainly because I don't play a lot of Java-based games on the upstairs computer.
But problems were festering elsewhere. The second room downstairs (the one with the wireless connection and uber-cool arts-and-crafts antenna) had more than enough extra connections. The only thing hooked to that segment was the above-mentioned wireless drop and the Sony PS2. The problem was lurking in my downstairs home-office, first room; the engineering center of my house; the network-nexus if you will. Time crept by and more and more crap got plugged into the once copious five 100 meg drops. Until several weeks ago when they all got filled. This really wouldn't have been a problem if I could have just kept the kabash on my imperialistic computer tendencies.
An innocuous looking Dell and a half-hearted promise to fix it finally broke the proverbial camel's proverbial back. I actually resisted taking the Dell downstairs for over a week, knowing that to do so would be to force my acknowledgement of my network inadequacies. Someone finally found it upstairs though, lurking behind the Lazy Boy (immediately and fittingly giving away the fact that I was the guilty party that had stashed it there).
So there it sat in my computer room...naked, unattached, dark. My first instinct was to see how much stuff could be piled on top, providing addtional surface area for me, and again hiding it from my ego (my id would have kicked its sides in and thrown its mangled carcass into a brush pile). Ego, guilt, and secondary pressure forced me to acknowledge it this afternoon however.
Side note about secondary pressure: I guess it makes it hard for people to communicate when person B promises person A, that person C will get person D to deliver some good or service (computer repair for an abstract example). Person B probably tries to avoid person A while trying to contact person C, who is simultaneously attempting to avoid by B. Person D should have known better than to agree to deliver just on the princple of avoiding causing such a tangled web of deceit. Never-the-less D has made a promise and a promise is a promise.
Everything was going swimmingly with the wounded Dell until the bane of every consciencious computer nerd aroused its evil head...software updates. If I asked you "What are the top 5 reasons that most people upgrade to broadband connections?", you might be tempted to say "Number one: Software updates". You'd be wrong though. Probably the top four would be porn, but I'll bet software updates would come in at a solid number five. So, the wounded Dell was finally repaired and among the living again, purring like a silicon-based, 120 volt, 350 amp kitten when realization of the long forgotten network shortage struck.
So, I went through the five stages of grief (rather quickly, mind you, as it really wasn't all that traumatic in retrospect). I was kind of in denial all along, as I wanted to deny that I even had to fix the damn computer, although I'm not sure if that counts or not. Then I got angry. "Why do I have to have so much &^@#ing crap in one room?!?". Bargaining "Maybe I could unplug some of my own junk?". I probably should have just stopped there and realized that sometimes you really can get a good bargain. But nooo ...I had to go on to depression. "I'm just so sad that my network is so pathetic, whatever shall I do?". Finally, acceptance. "This network must be upgraded if I'm to finish fixing this computer and face my wife again" (person C in the above scenario as well as discoverer and mover of Dell cleverly stashed behind reclining chair).
A few trips into the junk closet (for an ancient router and a recently purchased yet neglected 802.11g access point, as well as various and sundry network switches) , a few trips to Best Buy (for replacement of ancient router that was apparently manufactured in ancient Mesopotamia for internal intercommunication in the Tower of Babel, and a new 802.11g USB adapter), and more than a few trips up and down the stairs (for final configuration of HouseNet v2.0) and the deed was done.
Now I've got 802.11g (54 mbps) wireless network (still using my handy cereal box inspired booster antenna; kind of like Martha Stewart meets MacGuyver), and four 100 mbs network drops (one for the PS2 and three for network devices to be named later) in the second downstairs room; 54 meg wireless networking to the upstairs (and is it ever working dandy), and nine 100 meg connections in my computer room/home office/neighborhood kids' Guild Wars festhall (another rant for another time).
Oh yeah...the Dell. Plugged it in; four hours and a multitude of mindnumbing mouse clicks later and it was finally finished, finito, a work of perfection.
And what was a computer nerd to do while waiting for service packs to download and patches to be patch-ed ad nauseum, nigh ad infinitum. I went on eBay and bought me a print server. I have always wanted to decouple my printer from my main system. I'm pretty sure my computer will run at least 2% faster (yeah, keep telling yourself that!) Plus now I've got all those new, virgin network ports to be filled. I'm starting to feel a little giddy just thinking about it....

-HBH

Don't stand, don't stand, don't stand so close to me

2006-05-05T07:30:00.000-07:00

I've often wondered how often our president is faced with the scathing truth of how a majority of Americans feel about his procedures and policies.
For better or worse (better in my opinion), Stephen Colbert put it in his face at the White House Press Correspondence Dinner on April 29th, 2006.
The whole video (little over 25 minutes) can be viewed here (from Google Video):
Colbert Roasts Bush
It is interesting to watch how the entire mood changes around 8 minutes 45 seconds into the video. Colbert starts talking about disasters and photo ops. Watch for Bush's reaction shot at 9 minutes and 15 seconds.
I'm not sure who booked Colbert to wrap up the Press Correspondence Dinner, but maybe they didn't realize that his humorous support of Bush is actually critical satire. Reminds me of Reagan wanting to use John Mellencamp's "Pink Houses" for his second term campaign.

-HBH

Sweet Dreams Are Made Of This

2006-05-03T22:38:00.000-07:00

I was living in Pumpkin Holler, but it wasn't the Pumpkin Holler that I know. I was living in Pumpkin Holler of the late 19th century. As I walked down the street, it changed from what I know it looks like to what it looked like in the late 1800s or there about. Streets moved from their present locations to where they were then as I observed them. New houses and buildings disappeared to be replaced by trees, old houses, or other objects that existed then. Finally I arrived at my destination. I'm not sure of what the building was called, but I suspect it was similar to "Pumpkin Holler County Convention Center". Strangely enough, time had progressed. It was now the late 1950 or perhaps the early 1960s. The interior was dark and smoky. Just inside the entrace was a bar/restaurant that seemed quite busy. The barstools had long, wooden legs. The leather seats had brass or copper rivets. The low pile carpet was old and slightly sticky from accumulated spills and neglect. Ashtrays dotted the the length of the bar. I walked along through the restaurant until I came to the main hall of the center. The doors opened and I entered the long corridor. The walls were light blue and the heating and plumbing pipes along the ceiling were all painted the same. The paint seemed new and fresh. I immediately remembered having visited this place many times as a child. I knew every turn and where all the doors led. The sounds of people holding meetings came from behind some doors. I was a little sad because this place seemed so vibrant, so alive, yet I knew that it had been torn down at some point in the future. People stopped going there. It was no longer relevant. Yet here it was in all its glory. The hall seemed much longer than I remembered. Perhaps because as a child I had run through it, making the yards seem like feet. Finally, I reached the end. I tried to open the main doors, but couldn't. I could see the handles but they weren't really there. Something within me told me why...I had reached the end of the virtual simulation. What lie beyond had not yet been modeled. Maybe because no one remembered exactly what it looked and felt like. Maybe because no one cared. I walked back down the hall. Somewhat confused, somewhat curious. Why had someone bothered to create such an elaborate hoax? Why had they chosen this particular era to model and why this particular building? I proceded back out through the restaurant, back through the bar. I stepped out of the building and awoke. I felt a little happy about remembering that building, and felt a little sad that it had to be torn down, not because something new was to replace it, just because it was no longer important. That's when it hit me. The building I had remembered so fondly had never actually existed at all.

-HBH

Social Experiment #1 - Running with the Devil

2006-04-28T22:52:00.000-07:00

By most accounts, I'm a pretty decent person. I think most people are really. When I get behind the wheel of a car though...I turn into the Jules Winnfield (Pulp Fiction) of the road. If you're going slower than me, faster than me, driving slow in the fast lane, turn out in front of me and make me slow down, etc, etc, you're an asshole, and I'm going to let you know about it in one way or another. In the movie, Jules knows he's a bad guy, but some things have happened in his life that makes him question the path he is on. Like Jules, I'm trying to fix some of those things in my life that I know aren't right.
I've devised a little social experiment that I'm trying on myself. I'm making the assumption that every person on the road is one of my best friends. Not withstanding the time I played bumper tag with my friend in a rental car (he was pretty pissed about it; he was convinced Avis was going to make him pay for the scratches and the paint), you don't normally tailgate your buddy on the freeway at 69 mph because you want to go 71. Nor do you swerve around him and cut him off because he pulled out in front of you and made you tap your brakes. You cut him some slack, maybe make a little excuse for him ("must have been changing the radio and didn't see me"), and have a little more patience.
I've found that it's actually pretty easy to trick myself into believing it also. "Oh yeah, that must be Mark's new Hyundai."
I'm really not sure where all the anger, aggression, and assumption of an adversarial relationship comes from (probably some really deeply repressed shit, the kind that puts yachts in psychiatrist's boat houses). The experiment seems to be working for me so far. I'm not so apt to crowd other cars and my initial assumption of "me getting from point A to point B in the least amount of time and with the least amount of interference" isn't as important as maintaining good relations with my imaginary buds.
Jules has this bible quote that he uses on people just before he shoots them. Stuff about him shepardding the weak through the valley of darkness and how he will "strike down with great vengence and furious anger" those who would mess with his flock. He admits that he never really thought about what it meant, just that it sounded like a cruel thing to say before he shot someone. He ponders his situation and the meaning of the saying. Later, when some people (Ringo and Yolanda) attempt to rob him, he decides to give them a break. I guess I never really thought about why I act like I do when I'm driving, but like Jules, "...I'm tryin', Ringo. I'm tryin' real hard to be a shepherd."

-HBH

pic

2006-04-28T09:05:00.000-07:00

Thanks to whoever drew this bitchin' picture of Hotei. I feel it really captures the spirit and essence without going over the top like other icons and images I've seen.
I'm sorry that I lifted for my own use without remembering to give credit for where I found it.
I'm also sorry that I had to mess it up by adding my own element (also stolen from some unknown elsewhere), but felt it was necessary to reflect my own element of happiness.